Stripped | What does healing look like?

For the women who have ever felt lost, confused, tired of heartache and low in self esteem. This is for you, may you find comfort in knowing there’s sunshine after your rain, may this be a gentle reminder that there’s both freedom and happiness in healing.

Here I am at 11:35pm cozy in my bed, fully prepared and ready to catch some sleep.

Nope, tossing and turning so here I am.

Healing, is tricky yet so rewarding.

I didn’t grow up being encouraged to seek therapy, I was taught to pray about it. Granted prayer is necessary but there’s more to unlearning and facing the not so pretty parts of who we are than to just pray it away.

I never knew I needed therapy, let alone any help. I was always the strong one, hiding my feelings and emotions to push through. Yet I wanted to be the one to lean on someone for help and I wanted to just let the emotions out.

But I couldn’t, I always dealt with my emotions in private. Just me, myself and I.

But marriage changed that, divorce took away my right to privately heal, going through a divorce stripped me from everything I thought I was, anything I wasn’t ready to deal with would forcefully be put on blast.

Looking back being stripped of all my walls, protective armor and shields was absolutely necessary for who I am today and what Michelle Jo & Co is and will be.

I didn’t realize how silent my divorce had made, it’s funny because my ex-husband actually requested that I didn’t go into details about our martials problems.

I still remember responding with “that’s what you’re concerned about?”

I reached a point where it was all to heavy to carry, yes I was strong enough but I didn’t want to be.

For once in my life I wanted to be fragile and out of control emotionally, I wanted to feel whatever it was and release it, I wanted to step out of this robot like demeanor when it came to emotions, I wanted to be human.

I’ll never forget walking into my therapist office, I sat on her comfy sofa (so cliché, I know LOL) and I said “life wasn’t supposed to be this way and I’m hurting.”

As I grabbed some tissue, tears wouldn’t stop falling down my face.

I’d never stopped to think about what I was feeling and how I ultimately wanted to feel.

If you’ve gone through something painful or having a hard time letting go, have you acknowledged that thing or person that may be the cause of the emotion you feel? If no, take time to think on this but also to think about how you want to feel.

For me, I wanted to find comfort in knowing my tears weren’t a sign of weakness yet a cleansing of some sort and maybe even a release.

I wanted to be vulnerable and honest enough with myself to say I was so hurt and his lack of change made me question my worth and value.

So I did.

I removed every thought that told me I had to be strong all the time and made room for both my strength and softness.

For some reason women have been sold a lie that strength and softness can not coexist, well I’m here to say they can.

Healing is not a one size fits all, it’s unique to everyone.

You can’t rush healing, letting go or closure.

You have to be ready, open and willing to walk through the process, it’s not a jog or a run, it’s literally a stroll on the beach, some days the waves are calm and others their crashing out of control.

But always know no matter how high the waves may get, a calm is always coming.

You are the calm in the storm, it doesn’t control you but you control it. Embrace it and lay down any emotional baggage that isn’t yours to carry or that no longer fits where you’re going.

Love,

Michelle Jo

CHURCH ANNOUNCEMENT

I’m really excited to announce my masterclass #STRIPPED/ Rediscovering The Woman Inside on December 14th, 2020.

More Details Coming Soon!